Monday, March 24, 2003
I don't know. I just don't know. FUCK! I dunno.
This concludes my op-ed piece on the current war. If you're one of those people who is either gung-ho about it or violently opposed to it, I envy you, because I just don't know.
And I'm a pretty smart guy! So you must be geniuses.
posted by Andres at 3:46 PM
Are you the proud owner of an American-made automobile with at least 50,000 miles on it?
Do you want to ensure that your automobile remains safe and reliable for years to come?
If so, you may want to consider getting your automobile's tires realigned!
Heed my call.
Come to PETERSON TIRE REALIGNMENT CENTER
Hi, I'm Murray Peterson. For the past 13 years, I have been lurking on the periphery of your nightmares, calling to you. Ever calling. In addition, I have been providing quality tire-realignment services at fair prices to Milton Township and the surrounding counties here in Central Minnesota. Come to me. Heed my call and I will make sure your automobile or small truck continues to serve you reliably, much as my minions continue to serve me. Remember, at Peterson Tire Realignment, we'll bleed you dry, but we won't bleed you dry. Bring me an alabaster-skinned virgin and get a free squeegee. Okey doke. Form of...A BAT! Just kidding. If we could do that, I'd lose most of my undead customer base. C'mon down to Peterson, our tire-realignment specialists have an unholy thirst for providing reliable and affordable service.
We're open every night from dusk until dawn, just off exit 12 on Route 18B in Regan, Minnesota.
posted by Andres at 11:39 AM
Last week's GTN was well-attended and was great fun, despite the fact that the show's regular host, Francisco Guglioni (me) was accidentally replaced by a vampire tire-realignment specialist from Minnesota named Murray Peterson (still me), due to a wormhole-related incident. Murray was quite the trooper, and was gracious enough to serve as emcee for the entire evening despite his repeated assertions that he "is not an entertainer."
Yes, the St. Marks Theater has a wormhole: a randomly fluctuating interdimensional portal which serves as a sporadic nexus between a seemingly infinite number of distant realms and alternate realities. Such as Minnesota. Fortunately for my show, incidents involving said wormhole are usually hilarious, or are at least clearly intended to be hilarious. When you attend the show, just keep an eye out for the "Caution": Wormhole sign. Don't even get me started on the inappropriate use of quotes. Fortunately, when audience members stumble into the wormhole, they always seem to be transported directly to the theater's restroom.
As you can see, my method of dealing with reality is to create a different one. Care to join me?
GIANT TUESDAY NIGHT OF AMAZING INVENTIONS AND ALSO THERE IS A GAME!!!
"NYC's best comedy-variety show (Cumbersome Title division)" - Time Out New York
TUESDAY, MARCH 25TH @ 8PM
St. Marks Theater
94 St. Marks Place between First Ave. and Avenue A and also it is slightly underground
tickets are $5 at the door only
b.y.o.b., but please do so in such a manner as to not make me think you are an ass
This week, six-time Boliviguayan Entertainer-of -the-Year Francisco Guglioni is pleased to welcome:
Josh Comers
Chris Deluca
Kevin Maher
Shelagh Ratner
Adam Wade
and the sketches of Bernard, Felber & Oakes!
PLUS, music from The Mike Birch Caucasian Experience, and additional hilarity (possibly wormhole-related!) from Jonny Fido and Michael Reisman!
My show is the funniest. Nyah na na na nah! (raspberry)
posted by Andres at 9:43 AM
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Q: Hey there! Did you miss last week's Giant Tuesday Night Of Amazing Inventions And Also There Is A Game?
A: Yes, didn't you notice? There was hardly anybody there.
Q: How would you know there was hardly anybody there if you weren't there yourself?
A: We were all somewhere else. Together.
Q: Well that would explain it.
A: Yeah. So who's in this week's show?
Q: People just as funny and talented as last week.
A: Like who?
Q: Are you even going to come this week?
A: Who's in the show?
Q: Are you going to be there?
A:
Q: Well?
A: So who's in the show?
Q: Sigh. A bunch of great people. Ritch Duncan, Ophira Eisenberg, Jonny Fido, Christian Finnegan, Chris Regan, Michael Reisman, Andy Vastola, and of course, The Spicy Meat Brothers.
A: Wow, that's a great lineup!
Q: Yes, great. Just like last week.
A: Super!
Q: So where were you all last week?
A: Uh. Um, we all got tickets to SNL.
Q: My show's on Tuesdays.
A: I mean TNL.
Q: Whatever. This whole Q&A format has been completely unnecessary.
A: You blog fart jokes.
Q: Hey! That was a true story! Sigh. Anyway, the basic show info is in the last post. Please come on by. I’ll be hosting as Murray Peterson, Lord of the Vampires!
A: Ooookay, geek.
Q: Shut up!
posted by Andres at 1:20 AM
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
Muchovision and The Boliviguay Board of Tourism are pleased to reacquaint you with:
GIANT TUESDAY NIGHT OF AMAZING INVENTIONS AND ALSO THERE IS A GAME!!!
"NYC's best comedy-variety show (Cumbersome Title division)" - Time Out New York
TUESDAYS 3/11, 3/18, 3/25 & 4/1 @ 8pm
St. Marks Theater
94 St. Marks Place between First Ave. and Avenue A and also it is slightly underground
tickets are $5 at the door only
b.y.o.b if you want, but be neat and courteous please!
GTNOAIAATIAG!!! re-debuts on March 11th, as Francisco Guglioni (Andres du Bouchet) brings you the comedy of:
Becky Donohue - editor-in-chief of the wonderful girlcomic.net, and the host of her own show every Wednesday night at the B3 Lounge!
Eric Drysdale - writer for Comedy Central's The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, and also, the head writer for his own website, edrysdale.com!
Bryan Olsen - this great guy is very funny and plays all over town! (psst, Bryan, I can't find your credits! post them in the comments here and I will change this listing very subtle-like)
Bob Powers - the maestro behind girlsarepretty.com, and a regular contributor to Jest magazine!
Bryan Tucker - writer for Comedy Central's Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn!
PLUS the music of singer/songwriter Andy Newman (Michael Reisman), and the amazing inventions of Ernest Brussels (Jonny Fido)!
And also there is a game.
In other news, I still need to raise a good $900 or so for the Leukemia marathon (which I will be walking on April 27th in Sandy Hook, NJ) so if you feel like helping out, please write a check for any amount whatsoever made payable to The Leukemia Lymphoma Society, and mail it to:
Andres M. du Bouchet
408 Harvest Mill Way
Mullica Hill, NJ 08062
(During this brief period between apartments, my folks are holding onto my mail! I'm almost 32!)
Alright. Enough plugging. More comedy.