Check THIS out!
Please enjoy This awesome video by my buddies Mark Douglas and Bryan Olsen, featuring the disturbingly fetching Kimmy Gatewood. Surprise cameo by someone who is typing this!
(sung with a frisky rock track behind it)
Half man
Half tarantula
Oh wait it's just a hairy guy
missing his thumbs!
MANANTULA!!!
one of those 'Weekly Evil' things for Comedy Central:
than sitting at home on your couch,
drunk
and naked and stinking -
each of your armpits and orifices exuding its own
fetid breath,
and staring through half-closed eyes
at the television
as you watch YOURSELF
in the opening montage
of a reality show
which
you'd
already
been
voted
off
of
weeks
earlier?
ON THE TV
"I'm here to stay. You can count on it!"
ON THE COUCH
Fuuuck you you cocky bastard!
You got eliminated in the first episode!
(throws beer at the
screen)
The only thing I can count on you for is...
(scratches self in the ballzone and
sniff it)
that glorious smell.
ON THE TV
"I'm going to out-design them all!"
ON THE COUCH
The only thing you can design is a
quick exit.
From a reality show.
You designed THAT pretty well.
You
should design moments of pure shame!!!
You are a designer of wingless
dreams.
I hate you!
And you are me. (sobs)
ON THE TV
(sassy, with arms playfully on hips)
"This is one elevator repairman that isn't going down without a
fight!"
ON THE COUCH
Why'd I even enter the elevator repair competition
reality show?
Why?
I do not know how to repair elevators.
Why did they even
let me on the show?
Ohhh and all those poor people I killed
when
they
got on my elevator...(vomits)
ON THE TV
"I've never given an apendectomy before, but I've got this competition
sewn up!"
ON THE COUCH
Nooooooooo!
That poor girl!
I removed her liver!
I thought it was her appendix
but
it was her liverrrrrrrrr aaaaah God aaaaaaah!!!!!!!
Why would they ever let me,
a ski-lift operator
with a rare condition
known
as perpetually asleep
thumbs, perform
an appendectomy on a little girl!
And I took her liver...
oh God...
and even after the real doctors
came in
and put back
her liver and took out her appendix she still died of an infection.
She DIED because not only was she a volunteer for Who Wants To Perform
An Appendectomy, she was also a volunteer for the show Who Can't Tell
The Difference Between Anti-Biotics and Mayonnaise! Oh GOD they
slathered mayo all over her sutures. And the mayo went bad. And SHE
DIED. Oh Sweet Jesus what have I done!!!!!!!!
(Stupid format choices courtesy of Maker's Mark)