AND BUY MY FIRST COMEDY CD, NAKED TRAMPOLINE HAMLET!
MY PERSONAL FAVORITES have ** in front of the link!
Ask Siri Anything
A commercial for the new iPhone voice-recognition software.
Andy Richter's Sports Blast!
Andy Richter helps you prepare for your Fantasy Football draft!
This was actually Jesse Eisenberg's idea, which I wrote up. Also, it turns out we both grew up in East Brunswick, NJ. Factoid!
Todd Levin wrote this piece about the world's best effects company!
Schmecky & Schmecky
These guys get whole countries outta debt. How? Don't worry about it.
**Conan's Editors Love Final Cut X
I put this together with the amazing editor Dan Dome, who had a blast doing something intentionally shitty.
New Starbucks Promotion
In the hockey box score, the goal would go to Dan Cronin, with assists from Levin and du Bouchet.
Conan retakes Citizen Test
These are a blast to write, because it's all 100% jokey nonsense, which is what I live for.
Apple's Newest Product
Todd Levin and I put together this ad for Apple's latest...
Team Coco podcast
This isn't a clip from the show, it's an interview I did for the Team Coco podcast!
Too Many Sidekicks
Matt O'Brien keeps cranking out the funny, whether it's the Ted Turner bits with Will Forte, or these great sketches with Jimmy Pardo as Andy's sidekick. In this one, I get to play yet another sidekick.
Conan Aces The U.S. Citizenship Test
Here's a cute bit I wrote in which the U.S. Naturalization test has been altered to reflect the kind of stuff Americans actually know.
Here's Why I Rarely Play Southern Characters
Don't get me wrong, I consider myself a very good actor. But even a master thespian has his limits.
Conan Calls Staffers' Relatives
This was a blast to make - I can say that this was my idea and that I "produced" it, but all it really entailed was following Conan around with a camera and capturing the maestro in his natural environment.
Talking Twin Babies
Michael Gordon and I did the ol' wacky chyron treatment on this one, with one little meta spin on it that was Gordo's golden touch.
Brian Stack and Jose Arroyo were nice enough to cast me in this one, and I had a blast. Later we found out that "Fat Jesus" was a Zach G joke, AND a Family Guy bit, so we retired ours. It was fat while it lasted.
**Nic Cage Terror Alert Part 2
More fun from Nic Cage's film clipsl! It's embedded within this clip of the entire monologue from that episode.
Nic Cage Terror Alert System
I put this together with the help of the awesome Jeremy Slome. There was almost too much Nic Cage zaniness to choose from.
Kevin Spacey Picks Up His F-Bomb Award
Two-time Oscar winner Kevin Spacey swings by to pick up his most prestigious award yet! He was a class-act to work with, and nailed the bit.
Another Todd Levin gem, in which I play a zoologist with a very unusual explanation for all the mass animal deaths.
Todd Levin wrote/directed, and was nice enough to cast me as the creep. I have no dialogue, but I think my screen presence screams Oscar-caliber actor.
The Anti-Mistletoe Toe Missile
and The Holiday Punch Bowl Bowl-Punching Kit!
Dan Cronin thought the Gravy Boat Lighthouse guys needed more screen time, so together we wrote and produced these two additional commercials. I will never get tired of saying "Are you a crazy person who..."
TSA Turkey Prep
Once again, I'm portraying the pervy TSA guy, who for some reason now has a different first name! Rob Kutner had the idea to make me grope a turkey.
**Gravy Boat Lighthouse
I wrote and directed this piece about an indispensable product.
Creepy TSA Guy
Todd Levin wrote this bit about new airport security procedures, and I was lucky enough to get to goof around with it!
Adam Felber and I are the webmasters for non-existent website AintEverythingCool.Yes, and occasionally we pop in on our pal Adam Spiegelman to give him the lowdown on recent films as part of his great podcast, Proudly Resents.
It's the AintEverythingCool.Yes 2010 Holiday Movie Roundup!
Felbs and I are back, telling Spiegs our unsparingly critical opinions of this year's crop of holiday films! I'm not going back and editing that previous sentence!
Adam Felber and I stopped by our pal Adam Spiegelman's 'Proudly Resents' podcast to give our unsparing critiques of some recent films!
I promised my wife this would be the last time I told this story. Not even because she's upset by it, but just because I feel creepy telling it. Enjoy!
**One Hundred and Me Percent: TBS Special
Here's the unedited footage of my bit from the TBS Conan's Writers special!
One Hundred And Me Percent!
A preview of my epic, one man musical, live at the Hollywood Improv - May 18, 2010.
A performance of the finch bit at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club - September 22, 2009.
Crazy Actress Roommate
A Moonwork performance about those nutty crazy roommate days.
I Give Up part 1
I announce my intention to give up at life.
I Give Up part 2
The last couple minutes of the above performance.
The Vampire Audition bit @ Moonwork
You can also find the audio file for this piece below. Me and my buddy Reisman in one of my oldies but goodies.
From Giant Tuesday - 3 guys try to answer questions about Christoper Walken...as Christopher Walken! I love how many negative comments this gets on YouTube, from people who expected actual good Walken impressions.
**The Amazing WineBot 8000!
A classic Giant Tuesday Night sketch I wrote, co-starring Mike Birch, Jonny Fido, and Rob Gorden as the AWB8K! And yes, that's real wine, and I'm really drinking it. From May 2006, I think.
Cash at GTN
From a January 2006 Giant Tuesay Night - blind entertainer Cash Metavante (later renamed Cash Brulee) pops in for a visit. A clip of limited appeal and comedy value, but what the heck. By the way, 'Bananimal' is a film directed by GTN-host Francisco Guglioni starring George Clooney as a military scientist in the secret fruit sciences division of the U.S. army who is transformed via a terrible lab accident into...The Bananimal. Just so you know.
A stand-up set from November 2, 2005 at The Laugh Lounge in NYC.
From my October 19th, 2005 one man show - this is reformed mobster Frankie No-Pants reminiscing about his pal Little Petey.
From my October 19th, 2005 one man show - Mr. Awesomeness interviews a potential new assistant.
Nigel Whitewater & Cocoa
From my February 8th, 2002 one man show - this is animal expert Nigel Whitewater showcasing the amazing talents of Cocoa The Invisible Performing Baboon. One of my earliest bits, written in 1997 or so.
DRUNKEN HAMLET - November 8th, 2005
Yes, a bunch of us got drunk and did Hamlet. At least a truncated version of it.
I Give Up @ Moonwork - June 8th, 2008
I embark on my new career as a guy standing around drinking a beer. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
Karl Management @ Moonwork - January 12th, 2008
Karl Management pitches his ideas for new reality shows. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
Vampire Audition @ Moonwork - May 5th, 2007
Michael Reisman and I perform an oldy but a goody as I play a vampire auditioning for a Broadway musical. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
The Hasselhoff Story @ Moonwork - April 14th, 2007
I have had a storied career in film. And as such, my career has many stories...my favorite Moonwork performance. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
'I, Finch' @ Moonwork - January 27th, 2007
I read from my new book I, Finch: A First Person Sci-Magining Of The Mating Habits Of Finches. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
Christmas Sweater Story @ Moonwork - December 9th, 2006
The most amazing Christmas sweater I've ever seen. By the way, the Alaska joke is actually my pal Christian Finnegan's, which I subconsciously stole when I wrote this. I took it out for subsequent performances. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
Blind Bluesman @ Moonwork - March 4th, 2006
I pretend to be a blind bluesman singin' and tellin' it. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
Boutique Wilson @ Moonwork - January 28th, 2006
Performance artist Boutique Wilson rehearses his one man show. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
'Autumnalingus' @ Moonwork - December 3rd, 2005
A reading of poems inspired by my segway tour of New England. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
Mr. Fluffernutter + 10 @ Moonwork - November 5th, 2005
10 Jokes and The Cat Monologue. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
NTH @ Moonwork - January 10th, 2004
Naked Trampoline Hamlet. Sound engineering by Jason Greenspan.
The Sound of Young America - Live in New York!
I performed as mild-mannered vampire Murray Peterson giving an orientation to new 'turnees' in this smashing podcast.
OTHER CLIPS I WROTE FOR TV
The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - No Fly Kid
One of my dumbest ideas. Thanks to editor/maestro Rob Ashe for his amazing skill at matching my goofy voice to the kid's mouth movements.
The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - Puppies Dressed as Cats!
The title says it all. Jose Arroyo came up with the 'Mini-Dose of Joy' concept, I had the idea of sticking puppies in cast costumes, and Jimmy Vivino took my lyrics and composed what is perhaps the most brain melting jingle ever. Scott Cronick and his awesome team designed the cat outfits for the puppies.
**The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - Gold4Sex.com!
"It's not prostitution!" A team effort all around - I wrote & directed, and the amazing Dan Dome did the editing. Great performances from Scott Chernoff, Brian Stack, Brian McCann, Alison Flierl and Kevin Dorff! (and kudos to Tom Supa for going about his business while Stack yelled three feet away)
The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - Dumbledore Hits The Sunset Strip
These Dumbledore clips were my idea, and I sorta wrote/directed them, but Brian Stack is the real reason they're funny. He plays a drunken Dumbledore carousing in a hotel on the Sunset Strip, and he wrote or improvised most of the funniest lines.
**The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - Dumbledore Returns
Our favorite drunk and horny wizard returns for more Hollywood debauchery. Again, a super fun collaboration with the brilliant Brian Stack.
The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - Dumbledore Does Rodeo Drive
Brian Stack hits it out of the park again as Dumbledore. This time, almost everything funny is something he made up on the spot. Brilliant.
The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - Longest Elevator Ride Ever
Jose Arroyo and I play two businessmen riding the elevator of the world's tallest building in this piece I wrote/directed.
The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - A Thanksgiving Message From Conan's Dad
A heartwarming video greeting from Conan's "Dad". We've done a few of these - once again I think the omni-talented Jose Arroyo came up with the initial idea. I think this one I wrote is pret-ty mean.
The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - Slim Jim Shortage
Andy Richter shows you how to make your own Slim Jims! I wrote/directed.
**The Tonight Show w/ Conan O'Brien - SneezeFartBurp Boy
The movie trailer for an M. Night masterpiece. I wrote/produced and it's my voice at the end.
Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten - Curse of The Were-Man!
By the light of the full moon, this guy just turns into a different guy. Based on my idea, co-written by Joe Borden and co-starring Ethan Berlin.
Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten - Head Trauma Fantasy Football Draft
This is the super-extended version that will never air. Props to Chadd Gindin for helping me turn a stupid idea into a stupid short.
Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten - Nice Piranhas!
The title says it all.
**Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten - Imaginary Bats Home Gym
The bats might be imaginary, but the results won't be! I wrote and acted, and Chris Regan did the hilarious V.O.
Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten - Techno Tortoise
**Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten - Wig Cuts
Just to keep 'em on...their toes!
Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten - Mr. Happy Handshake
Put 'er there, pleased to meet ya!
HOMEMADE VIDEOS I WROTE
Just two farts a year! Directed by and starring Michael Bernard. Camera, sound, and editing by Carol Hartsell. Co-starring Sean Crespo, Mark Douglas, Anthony DeVito, and Bryan Olsen.
Juan doesn't speak English. Or does he? Directed/edited by Jonny Fido with sound by Eric Willhelm. Starring me, Mike Birch, Mark Douglas, Jonny Fido, and Michael Reisman.
$200 Flat Rate!
Just $200 for all the nasty smut talk you want. Directed/edited by Jonny Fido, with sfx and music by Eric Willhelm. Starring Rob Gorden, with Fido and Mark Douglas.
$200 Flat Rate (Extended Director's Cut)
This version really expands the thematic universe of the piece, and delves further into each character's motiva-BONERBONERBONERBONER!!! Adds me, Jack Kukoda, Sara Munson and Sara Schaefer to the cast.
Thanks to a generous grant from No Budget Nature Films, my intrepid cameraman and I take you into the dark and mysterious world of the Bengal Tiger. Directed and edited by Jonny Fido.
Francisco introduces GTN
Francisco Guglioni introduces the GTN gang for the ECNY showcase on 8/31/09 at Comix.
**The Infamous Twix Video
From 1997-1999, I was the spokesman for Twix candy bars. That all came to an end when I drunkenly made this video. Co-starring Sara Munson (now du Bouchet woo-hoo!) as the incredibly high cameragirl. Oddly, this video didn't get me any commercial work.
Worst Poker Faces (ever)
I suck at poker.
**Make It Naked!
Makin' stuff...in the buff!
Allow me to present to you my patented system for describing sex acts using text messaging!
Let my friggin' pipsqueek into your exclusive pre-school.
With this handy-dandy guide, you'll be able to understand any sketch or improv comedy spaz character!
My misguided attempt to write lyrics for the music that plays during the end credits of the film 'The Devil Wears Prada'. Truly inspirational.
This is a very old video I co-created with Jonny Fido, Michael Reisman and Jen Sprague. It is of the highest caliber. That's Fido's butt.
ACTING & TALKING HEAD STUFF
The Scariest Show On TV
I play the killer in this spoof of slasher movies.
I have a small role in this installment of the funny ESPN web series.
Weekly Evil: The Spitzer Scandal
Look at my face as it talks amongst clips of other talking faces!
Weekly Evil: Facebook
Another talking face appearance by my talking face!
Weekly Evil: Stoner Comedies
More from my face that talks!
Mini Hot Dog Eating Contest
I play myself in this stirring drama about three people who eat pigs-in-blankets.
The Sci-Fi Department
Kevin Maher and I try to determine the best sci-fi buddy cop movie of all time.
I explain to Rusty Ward just how big McCain's balls are.
The infamous 1987 video from the band Naughty Town. Courtesy of Mark Douglas and Bryan Olsen, with Kimmy Gatewood in her career-shattering performance.
How To Avoid A Sex Scandal
I play a random businessman/politician type guy who is a horndog.
I play Bob the mailroom guy with a serious drinking problem in this short by Ray DeVito and directed by Rob Paravonian.
A cute promo for a CourtTV show - some of my improv mixed in with Susie Felber's writing.
Clowns of the West
I did the voiceover for this funny bit of fake history.
Rock 'n' Roll Questions
I answer some of rock's rhetorical questions.
Leroy - Client Meeting
Leroy - Elevator Camera
Leroy - Stacy's Birthday
These three clips were made for the Spike TV video game awards. They're based on that popular World of Warcraft video that was going around: "Leeeeeroy Jenkins!" I play the hapless boss.
All Access: Middle Ages
I play Buttons The Minstrel in a few snippets from this hilarious Atom.com series.
**I Love The 30's
I play out-of-work actor Nigel Simonson in this episode about the Hindenberg disaster.
Video Christmas Card
Bryan Olsen made this years ago. Kevin Maher and I play his dumb bosses.
Jordan Carlos wrote and directed this short film about...um. Something. And. Well. I play a guy with some sort of accent.
Sally's Night Out
This is ooold, but I still laugh when I watch it. Canned Family is my old sketch group: me, Michael Reisman, Tim Ostrander, Jonny Fido and Jen Sprague. Ah the good old days.
Rocco Big Mac
My Impression of Italian pornstar Rocco Siffredi Repeatedly Trying to Recite the Entire McDonald's Big Mac Jingle Without Ejaculating. Sound engineering by Eric Willhelm.
**Rocco Oscar Mayer
My Impression of Italian pornstar Rocco Siffredi Repeatedly Trying to Recite the Entire Oscar Meyer Bologna Song Without Ejaculating. Sound engineering by Eric Willhelm.