I have something to confess. Every time I hear any news about BTK, all I can think is:
"Mmmm. Flame-broiled Whopper."
Does that make me a bad person? No, what would probably make me a bad person is if I preyed on innocent people by binding, torturing and killing them. Whew.
This BTK (which does indeed stand for Bind, Torture, Kill - mmmm char grilled) guy apparently taunted the police by sending them word puzzles. Now, I know that those NYTimes commercials have got to be some of the single most mocked things ever in the history of things that are mocked, but when I heard this I just imagined BTK saying:
"I don't know what I like more - doing the crossword puzzle, or finishing it. Then, jerking off onto it, and mailing it to the police along with a swatch of the whore's dress."
Anyway, it's a relief, I'm sure, to the people of Wichita that BTK was caught. However, let's not forget that the following nefarious acronym serial killers are STILL on the loose:
KFC - Kill, Fuck, Cook
KKK - Kill, Kill, Kill (he's got OCD)
JFK – Jerry Francis Kirkland (they know his name, they just can’t catch him)
FKF - Fondle, Kill, Fondle
MGPK - Marry, Get Pregnant, Kill - no wait, he's in jail
BKTSFIKFTTTF - Bind, Kill, Then Scream "Fuck I Keep Forgetting To Torture Them First"
You know, I bet you commenters can do better than me...(that's an invitation)...
Posted on March 04, 2005 |