Greetings America! Herb Farber here, wishing you a happy Fourth of July from everyone here at Farber's Fudgeworks. I'm standing in front of the original Fudgeworks mill, on the banks of the Souixtucket river here in Herdleburg, New Hampshire. It was here that Nud Farber first began producing small batches of premium quality novelty fudge in 1898. It wasn't easy for Nud. After purchasing the land from the Cheyhassee tribe in 1896 for a bullfrog tied to a kaleidoscope, Nud still had to build the mill and barter for premium quality fudge ingredients with the local Bog Folk and Wickermen, all the while fending off repeated raids by the Tainters: notorious French-Canadian land pirates who preferred tainting to raping or pillaging. Just subtly tainting whatever it was they came across. Oh-so-subtly tainting. At any rate, it was in 1898 on a Fourth of July much like today - sun blazing overhead, sky yawning wide with majesty and endless blueness streaked with whisps of cotton-candy clouds, that Nud first introduced his premium quality novelty fudge to the small specialty shops in nearby Gingham and Hazel Hollow, where thriving commerce had finally taken hold despite the confounding difficulties of dealing with the aforementioned Bog Folk, Wickermen, Cheyhasse, Fennel Lips, Stilt Braiders, Mudpunters and of course those roving bands of notorious French-Canadian land pirates known as the Tainters. Who would go about...tainting things. Oh-so-subtly. Anyhow, that first premium quality novelty fudge product? The Fudge Shame Marker - modeled to resemble the puritanical method of marking the dwellings of harlots: an S with the head and tail of a snake. Sounds like a far cry from the premium quality novelty fudge products that the Farber name is associated with today, huh? But mark my words, the same care and craft that goes into today's Happy Accident Novelty Fudge pill, or the Fudge Doppleganger, or the Fudgerang, Fudgerpillar, or Fudge Butler, went into that first Fudge Shame Marker. And it was delicious. On that fateful Fourth of July, Nud knew he had chosen the right profession. His fudge treats designed to resemble the preferred method of marking the dwellings of harlots were a smash hit with the townsfolk, who began accusing random women of harlotry and whorish behavior just to use them! The phrase "As delicious as a harlot's doorway", while now used as a more literal sexual phrase concerning oral pleasure, was actually derived from those very Fudge Shame Markers Nud Farber first crafted back in 1898. Just a little bit of Farber history for you folks on this glorious day. So good luck to you, America, and may each and every one of you find your chosen path, and may each one of you successfully fend off your personal Tainters in life. I'm Herb Farber from the Farber's Fudgeworks in Herdleburg, New Hampshire. God Bless.