All salesmen must go! Due to the poor economy, we are overstocked with salesmen, so all of our salesmen are on sale! Like Bob Cooper, from Circuit City. He’s on sale for just $13.95! Or Glendale Mazda’s Avi Schwartz, he’s priced to move at just $22.50! Take a look at this guy! Burt Kiley of Staples! Just three dollars! Incredible mark downs on all of our salesmen! We don’t care what you do with them once you buy them! Make them do chores! Eat them! Make them fight and/or eat each other! I know that all sounds grotesque but I’m making a point here: we don’t care what you do with them! Lydia Cohen is a whore! Well, no she’s not, she’s a sales lady at The Candle Nook, but once you buy her for just $11.95, you can make her a whore if you want! Do not question how or why we have the right to sell these people here, in the United States, in the 21st century! All salesmen must go!