Last night was the season premiere of GTN, and here's the sketch that kicked the show off. It was a blast:
TOO MANY GUITARS!
(for the 9/12/2006 GTN)
TMG were:
Mark Douglas
Andres du Bouchet
Kimmy Gatewood
Chris Principe
Michael Reisman
Steve Rosenthal
[all of the guitarists take the stage, Andres in front, the others in a semicircle around him]
ANDRES
Good evening! I am Tornado Explosion Sanchez, and we are Too Many Guitars!
ALL GUITARISTS
Too Many Guitars!
MARK
(lagging) Guitars!
ANDRES
How is everyone doing tonight? I said, how is everyone doing tonight? I take it that means you are doing well? I said, I take it by your previous response that you are doing well? Is everyone doing as well as they had hoped to be doing at this point in your lives? Does everyone think things will improve for them in the long run? Is everyone ready to hang in there? Trust me, life will get better if you are careful not to make any terrible choices! OKAY! And a one, and a two, and a one two three let's tune up!
[we all tune our guitars for a few beats]
ANDRES
Okay let's do it!
[Everyone starts to strum as Andres sings]
ANDRES
Giant Tuesday Night of...wait. WAIT! Stop everyone stop!
[they all stop. beat]
ANDRES
I do not know how to play the guitar!
ALL GUITARISTS
Oh no!
ANDRES
Damn! I never learned how to play the guitar, and I am only now just finding that out now. I feel like a pet without a laser! Well, this is awkward. Does anyone here know how to play guitar?
[ONLY Kimmy, Mark, and Reisman raise their hands]
ANDRES
Instead of Too Many Guitars, we should have called ourselves Not Enough Guitarists. (to Kimmy) Okay then you sing the opening song.
KIMMY
(starts to sing) Giant Tuesday Night...wait! I know how to play the guitar, but I do not know this song!
ALL GUITARISTS
Ah crap!
ANDRES
More and more I am unconvinced that any of us have ever practiced as a band or even met before this night! (to Reisman) You -- sing the GTN theme song!
REISMAN
(plays song correctly but intentionally sings very poorly) Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions, and also there is a...
ANDRES
Stop! Stop! What are you doing?
REISMAN
I know how to play the guitar, and I know the song, but my singing is the worst!
ALL GUITARISTS
Ah Fuck me!
CHRIS
I can do it!
ANDRES
But you didn't raise your hand when I asked who could play the guitar!
CHRIS
That is because I am a liar!
ANDRES
Then do it!
CHRIS
No!
ANDRES
Why not?
CHRIS
Because in addition to being a liar, I am also an asshole! (he steps back)
ALL GUITARISTS
Fair enough!
ANDRES
Then it's up to you (to Mark)
[Marks rocks it out and the show starts]
Posted on September 13, 2006 |