Getting in touch with me is simple:

First, find a clean, secure space where you can be alone. Place a small rug or mat on the floor. A yoga mat is perfect. Kneel on the mat with your palms on your knees and, keeping an erect posture, stare at the opposite wall. Clear your mind. Now slowly let your eyelids grow heavy. Clear your mind. Feel your eyelids close like shades, like shades on the window to the outside world. Clear your mind. It's just you now. Just you. The outside world has drifted away to a spec, a dimly lit spec in the rafters of your mind. You are now standing naked, you but better somehow, you in the best physical shape you've ever been in. Better. You as you've always wanted to look naked. Strong, fit, tall, confident, powerful. Standing naked on the end of a long, narrow, wooden dock, which recedes behind you to a shore too distant to see. The edge of the dock where you're standing is in the middle of a vast, calm body of crystal clear water. No land in site. No waves. Not even a ripple. The water like a flat mirror reflecting the...the purple sky? Yes, the sky is purple here in this naked on a dock place. Now whisper "Andres". Just whisper it. Okay, any second now. Did you whisper my name? Try again. Just whisper, oh so softly, "Andres". Hmm. You should see a large parrot flying towards you at this point. No? Are you sure you whispered "Andres"? Because sometimes it's hard to tell if you're whispering when everything around you is oh so quiet and still. No parrot yet? Hmm. Because the parrot is really the key to this whole process. He's going to be your guide in this otherplace. I really don't want to tell you what to do next without your parrot guide, because in this litigious age I just can't take the risk.

Ah well. Tell you what, just send an email to andresdubouchet@gmail.com.

Ooh, and if your inquiry is of a more businesslike and/or lucrative nature, you can contact my management, Olivia Wingate Artists, at info@oliviawingateartists.com.

Also, you can check out my Facebook Page, or (sigh) check me out on Myspace. If you do check my Myspace page out, I guarantee you will have done so before the next time I do. But whatever you do, DON'T type in your email address in the space below and do NOT click Join. Nothing will happen. Ever.